Disclaimer: This post is not slut shaming and is in no way promoting promiscuity!
Remember how when you were a kid you wanted to be an adult so badly? How’s that working out for you now? You probably thought 25 was the ultimate age to refer to yourself as an adult, right? You’re probably 25+ now and occasionally find yourself looking for an adultier adult akere? Adulting can get a little tough at times, here are five things you should have learnt by 25 so that the rest of your adulting journey is a little easier.
1. You don’t need to always say yes.
You need to know how to say no and mean it. Don’t agree to do things that you know for sure that you don’t feel like doing it because they’re just a lot of work or you’re busy or you just don’t feel like doing it. It is perfectly ok to say no. If you don’t learn how to say no, you’ll find yourself burnt out because you just can’t say no to people. Yes, it nice to feel needed but you can’t help out every time.
2. Setting boundaries is important
Adults have boundaries, you are one now so you should set some of your own. Setting boundaries teaches people to treat you the way you want to be treated. Boundaries don’t mean you are uptight, they mean you are mature! Want to know which boundary you should set first? Read the first point!
3. Know how to cook your favourite meals
If you have a favourite restaurant, learn to at least make the basic meals they serve! Why? Because 2020 has proved that restaurants can be closed at any time, without notice! If you love pizza or Thai food or whatever meal, learn to make it. Just search for recipes on Youtube and learn to make it.
4. It is ok to not fit in
Don’t always strive to fit in with the crowd, you probably did that in your teenage years and were probably miserable the whole time. So if you are going to continue doing it, just know that you’ll be miserable the whole time. Peer pressure doesn’t end in high school, it is there even among adults. Don’t want to drink? It’s ok. Want to stay celibate? You owe no one an explanation or proof that you are? Want to explore your sexuality? Girl, do what suits you, don’t be afraid of judgement. Check out this post to learn about what you need before engaging in any sexual activity.
5. You don’t need to own a car to get a driver’s license
LISTEN, you don’t have to have a car or be planning to buy a car to get a driver’s license. Enroll yourself into a driving school and learn how to drive. As you get older, you get more responsibilities so just get it out of the way.
6. Committing to a healthy monogamous relationship can be so much fun
The 21st century has made relationships so complicated. Most women think having a nonchalant attitude about relationships makes them real feminists. That is so wrong. So if you find yourself wanting to commit, do it girl, make your expectations known to your partner and don’t give up your individuality. Being faithful and committed doesn’t make you weak or less of a feminist. Check out this post on relationships.
7. Consensual sex is great!
Sex is not just for procreation or for pleasing your partner! If it was, God wouldn’t have designed your body is a way that it can yearn for pleasure or enjoy it. Enjoying it doesn’t make you a slut so don’t be ashamed to explore and be vocal about what pleasures you. If you want to be in a committed for the rest of your life, then you need to be vocal about what you want and how you want it to be done. Or else you’re going to have a terrible sex life!
If you are not in a committed relationship, please do not sleep with just anyone. You might think that you are owning your sexuality and fighting the double standards the world has about sex when it comes to men and women. Truth is, one, you are being plain promiscuous, two, you are putting yourself at risk of getting sexually transmitted infections and three, you are opening yourself to soul ties that will ultimately influence your mental health! So please, don’t sleep around. If you are single, pick up new hobbies or do anything that will develop you.
8. Private doesn’t mean secret
You don’t need to tell people about everything that is happening in your life. You need to keep some things things to yourself because…well…people can’t ruin what they don’t know exists.
9. You’re not always the victim!
Ever came across those memes about how God has removed people from your life because he heard conversations you didn’t hear? Well, it’s true. You know what’s also true? That God has also removed you from people’s lives because he heard all the nasty stuff you said about them behind their back! Truth is you won’t always be a positive element in people’s lives…and that is ok. Another thing is, God brings some people in your life for a season and once that season is over, He removes them because they have served their purpose in your life. So just know that some friendships will just fizzle out naturally and there is no need to have any bad blood when that happens.
10. You are not perfect!
Truth is, not one is! So don’t beat yourself up when you make a mistake. Learn from your mistakes and always strive to be a better version of yourself and always remember that YOU ARE ENOUGH!